Every morning I wake up with a sick feeling in my stomach like this can't be right. This can't be life. These days I look in the mirror and don't even see myself. I don't see who I used to be I don't see who I want to become and I damn sure don't see who I wish to be right now. I am currently the same woman I looked down upon for years. A woman who cheats herself out of happiness for the pleasure of a man. I have been made to think I am wrong when I am really right only to right his wrongdoings. I have put up with things that no woman should ever have to go through. I have cried so many tears that never hit the ground because a mislead hand made them fall short only pretending in hopes I'd think he actually cared. Lies and cheating yeah I've been through all of that. Through it all I came back trying to make something work that God never meant to be. My friends don't know who I am any more because of the life I "choose" to live. I degrade my own self by allowing these things that are happening to me to continue to go on. I know I am a great woman and I deserve to be treated with respect and I have not been getting that by the actions of a man. The woman I currently am is not the woman I am destined to become. No matter how hard life gets I will never again tolerate the wrongdoings of a man because I feel like I have no other choice. There's ALWAYS another choice and even though it's not what I prefer it is better than losing my self respect. So the day this gets posted I have finally decided to turn to the next chapter of my life. And although I don't know what it may bring I put my faith in God and I know it will all turn out all right in THE END!
This was originally written on June 18th...just posted tonight...
I want to leave everyone with this... you never know peoples situations when you are on the outside looking in. People may think I'm always happy because I easily smile but life is rough and times are hard. Try not to judge those you don't know or make assumptions due to what you see...
Friday, July 3, 2009
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